13th of July, 2018
"A hypothetical assumptions either take us somewhere nice or somewhere weird."
"The bets are always easy. The decisions are tough. But we go."
Sometimes you write things, and when you read it several times, you feel lost about the meaning of the content. Maybe you use a paper and pen, try to write down the feelings, give it so many thoughts, only to find out the real meaning. You try to process the whole perspective of yours in your mind, but you feel lost for nothing.
Sometimes you say meaningless things. You don't try to dig into its meaning, but when you do, you find something sensible. It makes a perfect sense and satisfies all the conditions. Your words end up holding a value. You don't try to analyze it, but, the words make perfect sense. It was meaningless in the beginning. Now, it's not.
Sometimes you feel relaxed and chill. You've nothing going inside your mind. Nothing is bothering you. You are cool about it. But not anymore because the relaxation and chill you've had earlier take you somewhere. You are somewhere. Somewhere nice and authentic. You don't feel the sense of fakeness in your thoughts because the authenticity of the place never lets you think about it, not even for a while. The relaxation inside your mind gets replaced by the curiosity. You are curious to think of more and ready to dive deep into something. Maybe that "something" is your passion. You feel passionate. The feeling of chillness, it's getting reduced. You feel enthusiastic. You feel energetic. You feel passionate. You feel determined. You are alive. Maybe more alive.
Sometimes you face enough trouble. You feel bothered by it. Maybe it's not trouble that's bothering you. You sit and try to think. There is only regret. But why you regret? You want an answer. You want someone to comfort you. Maybe you need a hug. But why now? Why you regret? You think of your past. You think of the time you wasted. You think of the time you spent uselessly doing nothing, absolutely nothing. You don't think of trouble anymore. You regret your decisions. It was your decisions. It was your choices. The situation is different now. But you can hardly make a change. Maybe you don't want to change anything anymore.
Sometimes you write a meaningful content, maybe a story, it's something about your life or the person you loved. It's something about the emptiness of your soul or the joy of your career. Maybe you wrote something amazingly beautiful. It's a poem. A poem about the person you feel most attached to - she is your mother. You love your mother more than anything in this world. You read what you've written. You read it over and over again. You feel the happiness. You feel the joy. Life has never been this way before. You forget about the emptiness. You forget about the pain. The only thing you remember is - it's something beautiful. You don't know what it is. You want to know. Or maybe you already know about it. Whatever it is - it's full of energy and pure beauty. It's something you appreciate from the bottom of your heart.
I had no intention to write this. I didn't think of anything while writing this. My mind was blank. The words just came out. Maybe I assumed, or maybe it was a hypothetical assumption. I don't know. Sometimes you don't know, and maybe, you don't have to.