In fear, I step out of my home, every day, so that I can get on the road. But why do I fear? There must be something, right?

I try to leave my home at 4-4:30 am.

  • A little from the past

I fell sick in March, suffered a lot, spent almost two months doing nothing because I couldn’t. I consider that as the worst phase of my life. It was the second time I fell sick, but couldn’t recover on time. If I remember, it was 16th of August, 2017, when the fever hit me for the first time and made me suffer for a long time. Things were horrible.

I can take anything on my mind, but not diseases, not even a small one. I fear them. I get worried even when I cough because I smoke. Although I don’t smoke, a lot, anymore, but, I do smoke, and I’ve smoked a lot in the past.

Anyway, I won’t talk about my health because I’m doing fine and making improvements. The only reason I mentioned about my past is that things are related to it.

But what scares me when I go out at 4 am?

Answer - Dogs. No, don’t get wrong. I like dogs, but I’m not someone who thinks “dog > humans.” The dogs of my colony are vicious beasts. Fucking crazy assholes who are ready to bite anything and anyone. It won’t be wrong if I call them ‘sons of bitches.’ They are cunts.

A few weeks ago, I decided to run, no, not from my responsibilities. I’m talking about running, like for real.

First Day -

I almost died. I couldn’t even breathe, properly. Felt like my lungs have become very weak. I only ran for like 10 minutes, but I was breathing heavily. I won’t lie, I started panicking because I thought this has to do with my smoking habits.

I came home, took out my clothes, and fell asleep. I was completely exhausted. Woke up after 7 hours and felt fresh. I wasn’t dwelling in laziness. It rarely happens, especially after you wake up.

Almost at 9 pm, I took a shower. It was a relief as I forgot to bath when I came home in the morning. I had my dinner and studied for few hours. Looked at the clock and it was already 3 am. After an hour, I left my home. Got chased by a few dogs, hit a few of them with stone. This time, it was fun. No, I’m not a sadist. The dogs are retards.

It was the second day, and I decided not to run. I realized I didn’t have that much of the stamina. I knew what I had to do, and I ended up walking almost 5 kilometers. It was fun.

Walking for a long distance helped me in building my stamina. I continued this for like a week.

Eighth Day -

I did the warm-up, that’s just covering 100-meter distance walking, and I started running. A little after I run, I realized that my breath is under my control. I wasn’t gasping, and so I ended up covering 250 meters without any problem. Was it a big deal for me? Well, yes. I forced myself to cover extra 50 meters.

I stepped out of the field. I could hardly feel my legs. Was walking, but didn’t feel like I was. After this, I felt like I should run more as I won’t feel anything. Started running again, just wanted to cover extra 200 meters and stop, but when I reached my destination, I already run 700 meters.

I covered 900 meters. No walking, just running. Came home, but for that, I had to cover almost 1200 meters. I had no energy to run. The morning was beautiful. I walked and walked. Reached my home around 6 am, picked some mangoes from the outside, took a shower, made some mango shake while listening to Ray LaMontagne, and studied a little.

On a lighter note, I always listen to Ray in the morning.

Anyway, this is what I’m doing nowadays. Don’t want to mess up with my health and I have no intention to do so. Will keep running and studying. I hope to continue this habit as long as I can.

It makes me feel good from the inside.